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Read the jokes. Do you know the answer?  

Take a guess. Scroll down to see the answers.

1. Why did the student eat his homework?

2. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

3. What did one plate say to the other plate?

4. What do you call a sleeping bull?

5. What kind of haircuts do bees get?

6. Why do porcupines always win the game?

7. What does bread do on vacation?

8. Why was the broom running late?

9. How do you fix a broken tomato?

10. What did the dad say to his daughter at the cook out?

 

11. How do you stop a bull from charging? 

12. How do they answer the phone at the paint store?

13. What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?

14. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

15. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

16. What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?

17. Two goats were munching on a movie script. What did one goat say to the other?

18. What has four wheels and flies?

19. What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?

20. How do squids get to school?

Tell your dad these jokes. He will love them.

Funny Story:

A guy in a library walks up to the librarian and loudly says, "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please."

Librarian responds, "Keep your voice down. Sir, you know you're in a library, right?"

Guy says, "Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I'll have a cheeseburger and fries, please."

21. What did the science book say to the math book?

22. What do you call a deer with no eyes?

23. What do you call a fly with no wings?

24. What do you call two giraffes colliding?

25. How do you pay for parking in space?

26. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

27. What do you call bears with no ears?

28. Would February March?

29. What day of the week are most twins born on?

30. Why isn't there a clock in the library?

 

31. Why didn't the koala bear get the job?

32. What does a cloud wear?

                 33. What did the flower say                     after it told a joke to the bee?

34. What time do ducks wake up?

35. What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?

36. What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake? 

37. What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?

38. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?

39. What do you call a fish without an eye? 

40. What happened when the skunk was on trial?

 

Scroll down to see the answers.

Knock, knock! 

Who's there?

 

Donut. 

 

Donut who? 

 

Donut ask me, I just got here.

41. What did zero say to eight? 

42. How do you throw a party in space?

43. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?

44. What's a pirate's favorite letter?

45. What do you call an old snowman?

46. How do pickles enjoy a day out?

47. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

48. Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?

49. Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

50. What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand? (best dad joke!)

 

Scroll down to see the answers.

Knock, knock! 

Who's there?

 

Ireland.

 

Ireland who?

 

Ireland you my umbrella, you're gonna' need it. 

answers:

1. Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

2. Because she was stuffed.

3. Dinner is on me!

4. A bulldozer! 

5. Buzz Cuts

6. They have the most points.

7. Loaf around

8. It over swept

9. With a can of tomato paste. 

10. This grill is on fire!

11. You unplug it!  - or - Take away his charge card!

12. Yellow!

13. A strawberry. 

14. Primemates

15. To make up for his miserable summer.

16. Lost

17. Goat 1: This is good!  Goat 2: The book was better.

18. A garbage truck!

19. A teapot!

20. They take an octobus.

 

 

 

21. Wow, you've got problems. 

22. "No eye-deer." 

23. A walk

24. A giraffe-ic jam.

25. A parking meteor. 

26. A palm tree!

27. B

28.No, but April May. 

29. Twos-day! 

30. Because it tocks too much. 

31. They said she was over-koala-fied.

32. Thunderwear! 

33.  I was just pollen your leg. 

34. At the quack of dawn. 

35. I Scream.

36. A pie-thon. 

37. Cowboom! 

38. A walkie talkie. 

39. Fsh

40. The judge declared, "Odor in the court, odor in the

      court!" 

41. Nice Belt

42. You planet. 

43. Swimming trunks. 

44. You would think it would be "R"-r-r-r. But me first    

       love is the C. (sea)

45. Water. 

46. They relish it.

47. He wanted cold hard cash!

48. Because it was full.

49. Because he wanted to see time fly.

50. Do these genes make my butt look big?

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